Surviving Each Day One Bean Salad at Time. As Well As Some Other Tips For Getting Through the Day.

I will survive.

Hey, hey.

That’s been my theme song this week. After our three Christmases and FOUR birthday celebrations for our tiny turkey, I have been scrambling all week to get our lives back in order.

I’m not going to lie, this first week back to school was rough. BUT, we’re back into a schedule, we’re back to eating food that doesn’t contain crackers at every meal, and my house (that was brought within an inch of a flicked match because it just didn’t seem likely it would ever be clean again and I had almost given up hope) is now clean.

I am breathing freely. For today, anyway.

Actually, the biggest nag on my mind lately has been this blog.

I have to extend a huge apology to all of you who have been checking to see if a new post is up. Simultaneously, a huge thank you. I don’t know who you are, but I do get a notification every time someone new goes to my page when I haven’t posted for a while. And there have been a lot of notifications. It really truly warms my heart to think people enjoy what I am doing here.

I also feel like scum when I haven’t been delivering. I am truly sorry to those who have been waiting.

I guess as an explanation I can only say that I’ve been giving myself the space to take a step back when I start to get stressed or overwhelmed and work on things one at a time instead of trying to do everything at once. I’ve been quite productive in other parts of my life, but I’ve been failing miserably at making this a regular thing. I know it’ll flow when I have the space for it in my chaos. It’s just the chaos I have to tackle first.

But like I said, I’ve been surviving. Barely, but still kicking. 5 hours after our daughter’s birthday party with friends last Saturday ended, John was on a plane back to work, leaving me with untold disasters within the house (7 loads of laundry to fold-- how does that even happen?!) and the additional work of all the party things. And a child wired from two weeks of non-stop partying.

It’s a running joke between John and I that every time he goes back to work, he seems to leave the house in worse and worse shape. He turned to me before we left for the airport and said, “I’m sorry, I think this is a new personal record.” That was an understatement.

To be fair, on the days leading up to her party, I felt like absolute garbage and couldn’t stand without wanting to puke, so he rallied and single-handedly washed every single plate, saucer, cup, and charger to be used at the party. He really is the best house-husband.

And then he stayed up with me the night before the party until midnight prepping food, only to wake five hours later with me to finish it all. I think this is when the “for better or worse” part of our vows comes into play. I’m so thankful he puts up with the crazy ideas that happen in this house. A high tea birthday party for forty? Sure, why not, so long as he can have some beer while he does it.

But now that the dust has settled and life has resumed, I am back to training our big girl on how to be a super big girl.

Nothing scares me more than the fact that in five and a half months (fingers crossed we make it that long without surprises), I will have another small babe and our five-year-old who has never known what it’s like to share me, will have a very serious crash course in it.

So we’ve been training for when I can’t be there to do things for her. Which is actually already happening as I lay dying on the couch about once a week when my sleeplessness catches up with me and my body reverts to its default of “I’m tired, so I might puke” setting.

The first thing we worked on? Getting milk.

She can get herself water, that’s pretty easy now that she’s tall enough, but giant jugs of milk on a high shelf posed a problem. Solution? I keep an old Kombucha jar filled with milk on the door of the fridge so she can pour herself a glass whenever she’d like.

The next thing was getting herself snacks or breakfast. Mornings have been the roughest on me because I’m usually up half the night and only fall asleep again at 5 until 7.

Hello toaster.

She has learnt how to use it, how to not burn herself, and how to spread whatever on her toast.

She always has access to the fruit on the counter and can help herself to it whenever she’d like, except during her favourite snack time of 4:30 in the afternoon as I’m cooking dinner two feet away.

Anyone else’s child suddenly scream like they’re going to drop dead if they can’t eat that banana

RIGHT
THAT
SECOND

even though dinner will be ready in ten minutes? I dread 4:30.

Cut up veggies and tiny containers of hummus are now also always available to her on the bottom of the fridge. Or if they aren’t, she’s figured out how to make them herself.

I’m currently having a mental wrestling match with myself about whether or not I should move the crackers and cereal to a more accessible location than the highest cupboard in the kitchen, but knowing my tiny, that’s all she’d eat if it were available. She does come by it honestly, though. I’d eat crackers aaaall day long if I could.

Being that she’s fiercely independent, she does all right for herself. She’s even taken to getting herself leftovers out of the fridge and getting it into the microwave for lunch if I happen to become comatose without warning around lunch time and I haven’t fixed her lunch yet. She just scoots one of the tall stool-chairs we have around and gets stuff done.

Oh, and the comatose thing? Some days it’s a real problem. I’ve always mocked my husband for being able to fall asleep while sitting straight up but it has now happened to me (except I don't have a steaming hot cup of coffee in my hand that's slowly dripping onto my crotch. I'd like to say that was a one-time event, but he's fallen asleep with a coffee in his hand more often than I can count). The warning that I'm about to pass out is that I’m super cold, so I’ll sit on the couch under a blanket, then as soon as I start to feel warm, I black out. Sitting, laying, it doesn’t matter.I usually wake up with stuffies under the blanket with me, or my hair done by my tiny. When John was home and I unintentionally passed out, they created a whole army of playdough friends and placed them around my head. I have a feeling that John was the ring master in it...But I get to sleep, and she doesn’t destroy my house. I’m not complaining.

She can also take her medication by herself which is huge. It has to be while I’m watching, but at least I don’t have to help with hands that may preoccupied in a few months. She really is becoming quite self-sufficient and I feel like we’re going to be okay once the babe gets here.

Although…I’m not certain if I should take it personally, like I’m failing as a role model, or if she’s just wise beyond her years, but the other day, Beanie says, out of the blue: “When I grow up, I’m not going to have a husband or children. That’s just too much work and cleaning. I’m going to live by myself with a pet. If I’m still allergic to cats, then it will be a dog. And a fish. Two fish. Unless the dog likes to eat fish, then I won’t have them. But that will be my family: just a mommy and pets.”

I guess I have grand furbabies to look forward to. I’ll never be upset about grand furbabies.

Funnily enough though, her dream was once mine. Even her choice of career in Chemistry was what I had planned. I was on track to graduate from high school early, then I was going to go right into college, then university, then my Masters, then by PhD by 26. I had planned to have a small pet and to live on my own through this all. As you can probably guess from knowing me, none of this happened. I chose love and stayed in Dawson Creek. I chose the passion of my heart and have a degree in English Lit instead of something useful like Chemistry. I changed my ambition from that of a doctor to a mother. I wouldn’t change a second of it. Well, maybe the living in Dawson for nine years part 😉

I’ve been trying to make things easier for myself as well as for my tiny. I’m trying to get back into pre-prepping meals again and having prepared snacks on hand at all times. I’m getting there.

I just want to sleep again. Life would be so much easier.

But, if you’d like to do yourself some favours, here are some of my handy survival tips that I use in my own life to make me feel fantastic when my body has other ideas.

1. Have water constantly available. If you’ve been to my house, you’ll have noticed a water pitcher on the counter, but I’ll never pour you a drink from it (unless you really want it). If I grab you a water, it comes from the fridge. That pitcher always lives there, bringing all my drinking water to room temperature before I drink it. I’ll drink literal litres of water if it’s at room temperature, but hardly touch cold water unless I’m really hot and thirsty. And let’s face it, I’m hardly ever even lukewarm, let alone steaming, it seems like my blood just runs super cold. So, knowing this about myself, I keep my jug out to warm my water then I fill my giant bottles that you’ll see with me everywhere. This ensures I drink enough. Make it visible, bring it to your awareness.

Pregnant or not, I drink a ton of water in a day. Each bottle holds 40 oz and I’ll drink at least 3 or 4 full bottles a day. That’s 120-160 ounces a day, or 15 to 20 cups. Some days more, especially when I’ve been to the gym. Plus herbal teas and almond milk. If I drink any less than two bottles a day, I bloat terribly. If you ever see my stomach puffed right out, offer me some water, because chances are that I haven’t drank enough that day. It could very well be your problem, too.

One of my favourite things to do is drink at least half a bottle, if not more, as soon as I wake up before anything else. It’s such a lovely way to start the day. It’ll wake you up, wake up your digestion, and get you started on your way to a hydrated day. It seems so simple, but so many people are just not drinking enough water in a day. Work it in and you’ll be amazed at how more alive you feel.

2. I drink my seeds. I keep a few little jars at a time in the fridge, full of seeds, ready for smoothies. 24 hours before I plan to use them, I add filtered water to the jar and let it sit in the fridge.When it’s smoothie time, I dump the whole thing into the blender along with whatever I’m feeling (about 2-3 cups of added things) and blend. It makes enough for two smoothies, perfect for the little and me. This little jar contains a ton of fibre, omegas, and calcium, among other nutrients. Soaking them makes it easier for the body to digest them and gain access to all that goodness. My tiny bean loves the seed smoothies made with blueberries, mangos, and pineapple. And I must agree, that’s a tasty smoothie first thing in the morning or as an afternoon snack.

In each jar (all raw and unsalted):

1 tbsp pumpkin seeds
1 tbsp sesame seeds
1 tbsp flax
1 tbsp hempseed
2 tbsps almonds
1 tbsp sunflower seeds

Drinking my seeds and my water instantly makes me feel better. You can tell the days when I’m missing them because I am a zombie.

3. Delay timer on the oven.

This may not have an instant impression on my mood, but it certainly helps when we've had a long day by having dinner ready the moment we walk in the door which stops everyone from angry Hulk-smashing the fridge apart looking for something to devour. It saves lives, I'm sure of it. I use it at least twice a week, if not more.

If you follow me on Instagram, you may have seen my last post about herbs. Oh, fresh fresh herbs.

All I want so badly right now is fresh produce. I crave strawberries and nectarines and peaches and tender spinach that I eat like chips because it’s so crisp. I just want it all. It’s what I craved with my first and clearly what I want with this one. So I bought herbs in an effort to fool my mind into thinking it’s getting the fresh deliciousness it wants. I asked for suggestions on Insta for them and I now have a ton to try out this week, so I’m very excited! I’m always open for more great ways to use herbs, so pass along your favourite way to me and I’d be happy to try it.

But one way that I love to use dill is in my favourite bean salad. This is actually my copycat recipe of a deli salad I used to get from Planet Organic in Edmonton while in university when I used to slowly peruse grocery stores instead of writing essays. This is the original ingredients sticker from one of the containers stuck to an old notes page when I had the brilliant idea to recreate it so I wasn’t spending a small fortune on it weekly.

No, I don’t know what the black fluff is from. We’re just going to overlook it.

After many trials and many many bean salads later, this is the recipe I’m still making seven years later.

Awesome Bean Salad Serves 4 as a side (or 1 Sam for two lunches)

2 tbsps red wine vinegar
1 tbsp olive oil
Juice of one lemon
1 large clove of garlic, finely chopped or crushed
1/8 tsp sea salt
A pinch of white pepper
1 can of mixed beans*
1 bell pepper, finely diced
3-4 tbsps fresh dill, finely chopped

Mix it all together and let marinate together for 2-3 hours or overnight, which is even better. Enjoy!

*I’m all for scratch cooking my beans and if you’d like to make six different types for this, be my guest. I will gladly take the pre-cooked ones for this recipe.

I hope you are all settled back into your routines after the holidays. If you have any tips for me about making your life easier with an older child and a tiny, please let me know! I am walking into uncharted territory and will need all the help I can get.

PS: I’ve started to feel baby wiggle and flutter in there over the past week. It’s getting pretty exciting in week 15!

And here's Charles being a dolt just because he hasn't made an appearance in a while.

Again, how could I wish for my life to have turned out any other way when this is what I have? I am thankful for it all, craziness included. And I will survive. I'm doing it.